Innerdialects

True.

I am Quoting JJohns Post (below) as Glacier collapse in Nepal/ Tibet River, swallows towns .The aftermath is unspeakable.

Yes, a week you want to erase.

Yesterday was my usual Fast, the family let’s me be, closeted in things I’m asking God –

also in palm tree outside, in the sky over school roof next door, its goliath Christmas tree and multitude of clouds; here I have few words, some tears. So after watching Nepal and other news (not exactly exciting), I asked the Creator what I needed to fast from.

Before I could prepare for His answer, It arrives, “Fast from control.”

There I was – like Twilight, wrapped in knowing we are each mortal, perishable;

yes the Earth and there’s God. There’s His Tears too.

For now Im fasting from ‘Control’. Don’t ask a Momma not to try that. Its tough. I want to control every evil spill. I know you feel it too when you watch broken families hunting for each others’ arm or leg; dear sweet folk in the doorstep of a home that used to be there last week.

Yes its week of tears. What use is my Post here, to the girl waiting for her new husband to come home from a field thats now famous for the dead, she won’t look in the mortuary, she’s smiling in the camera, “I know he’ll return.. ” she’s smiling.

Is it wrong to Hope? Does Hope for better days absolutely redeem yesterday? Does It transform us for the better? How you define ‘better‘? Does pain improve us as a human race? Does it purify our decisions, policies, bills, clauses?

Is it foolish futile to pray healing for a brokenness to unbreak? Is it dumb to sit in my corner and glare at the Palm tree outside for shining hard at the sun and the official sorrow of those of us who want the earth to return all her dead. ..

why is even suffering staring at hope?

This day will do its parole. Yes we’re a Prisoner of Hope.

There will be candle lit offerings, songs, silences, breaches repairing. Some will change from yesterday into tomorrow.

I stop asking God for answers. I know He will ask me to do what I must: be His. Help someone. Be kind. Serve. Don’t try and answer every question. Some questions are answers.

Our bodies are Chrysalis, the night is near over, the Day is at Hand.

As I post this, noon will go to early evening. I feel small in a Time circling with squares. And Crosses. Especially that one with Yeshua once on it.

Yes, Tears give me peace:

the peace of not needing to know it all. The Peace of giving up control. Zero arrogance.

I’m run out of words, circling n a Space that is rich with Him. And Eternity.

the Bravest thing I’ll ever do, is trust Him, here and beyond.