Innerdialects

Humanity’s best kept secret: Our individual Superpowers :

that Blessedness that walks us thru a 3am nightmare, a scary trip, a disaster meet: that sudden Strength within that pushes one past despair…?

So you shrugged off a tear and walked on; you were shutting down outside, but within – you grinned. You spiritually grinned at your worried Doc., “..you’re not out of the woods yet,” he said, two+ decades ago.

Heeh. The woods run deep, dear Doc., the woods have a million promises to keep, to the miles that sweep aside our thorns and bristles crowding the pathway through. Two+ decades ago, after the tenth test, and scans, (I had three files, from 3 different Docs),

finally, an Ortho. He was the kindest one, big dark eyed tall and burly doc, like a tanned polar bear. If a smile could say something, his did. He summed up my fam: five year old in my lap, wide eyed husband and me, the 3 of us holding hands, waiting for that verdict, what’s this muscle weariness, this growing twitch/ ache, the fevers, the fatigue felt like I was dragging around wooden feet.

“There’s things…that …could be our trouble here..” He was hedging, shadow boxing, not looking me in the eye. Previous Dr had penned: ‘Query M.S.’ Only later I knew they meant Multiple Sclerosis.

“Take a small break, them come back.Meanwhile I’m putting you on these..”

vitamins. At home a friendly neighbor prescribed pudina(mint leaves) for anti-inflammation.

Our eldest daughter, the five year old Vihan hugged my knees tight…as we got home that sunday. I remember wondering why I bothered to wear a saree, it felt like dead weight sails refusing to be managed.

“He’s able, He’s able, I know He’s able, I know my Lord is able to carry you thru..He heals the broken hearted, and sets the captive free…“

who taught her that? Had to be my Ma. Vi’s upturned face was looking right into mine with a Faith that dared me to doubt it.

I had been trying to come to terms with the terminal quality of long term illness. Three+ years is no short time. That and the incredible mileage of human imagination. Ofcourse there was prayer, but the tunnel gets darker, and the spirit inside can handle only that much spiritual pep+ soda. But this baby of ours was singing, obstinate, her tiny face asking me to sing too. I couldn’t. The lymph nodes around my throat were still swollen. My non stop 360degree headache hammered with every pulse beat.

I don’t remember the details of when but Healing began. Slow. It grabbed me by the jaw so I shut up the sadness, and just squat sat down. Began to pray again, not like a dead person walking, but as alive as I could feel. I saw me for the first time as spirit+body, soul…

..that we are Extraordinary. We are Chemistry, Physics, Quantums of dust, all our nerves and tendons revolve around that thing we call the sun, and it doesn’t ask our permit

..saw that I was more than a frail body, I had a mind powered to fly, or fall. Or fall upwards in a sky that was bottomless. There’s things there we know when we realize we don’t know all that much :

we are born here and one day we will go, and our soul will one day not expire, but rise on soul toes, to an Eternity we might dismiss, while here. That’s our choice, (a deadly entitlement: that Choice).

What’s that fire in my ribs asking me to look beyond Reason or logic? The older I get the more weak-kneed I am at all our prowess. Y’all didn’t notice you ???

…the guts & tender loving kindnesses, the capacity of Faith, the Presence of the Sacred, human sense of humility that grows in Grace; oh Healing, not just of body, but of the Mind, where impossibly Sacred transactions can happen if we dare.

Bidu my friend is a star all by himself, a playwright and singer, but oh the humility of the person. Disha, just out of Ortho surgery, does her Physiotherapy sessions like an ace gymnast, I mean in her spirit. Her mind sees what she can do and she goes for it, an inch at a time. ..

…Kiara, 70 years old and alone because her sons and their wives won’t have her home. She will not open her door to us on some days. On other days she’s singing top of her voice. Last week she was in her window sill, belting out psalms for the guava tree outside, the one with baby weeds pushing at its trunk, and wild money plant creeping up root to compound wall. I’m certain they’re all growing so well because of Kiara’s great spoken Word there.

Yes, Superpowers. The tragedy is not knowing the stash within our teeth, the hoard in our finger tips, the wealth in our very shadows, the investment of God in our lives.

In one culture, people are being imprisoned for the mere mention of “God”. In a recent interview, the Interviewer edited out ‘Creator‘ from my response, with “creativity“. Funny that we accept ‘Creativity’ at all!

So yes, it can take a Tear to see our very own drop of Dawn. What’ll separate us from that kind of Love: can depths of doubt or heights of indifference separate us from the One Who gives us the capacity to not just survive but soar, if we believe?!

Chances are, they’ll block your very capacity to be kind (in some communities the act of Kindness is under scrutiny and can sentence one to dire prison, because it reminds them of Christ), but just go dare be yourself true Created self.

(June says nothing stops her)

🕊🌷🎶🌿

The Legacy I’d leave behind: a glimpse, somehow, at Humanity’s best kept secret: Our individual Superpowers