❤️🔥
( in pursuit of happiness)
It’s been a year since Nell & I met, he now has rings in every finger, leather bracelets, bead necklace, BobMarley vibes breathing in meshed hair. The eyes are young and old, his voice cracking with some of the old laughter. We talk about the weather, we talk about how erratic the rains have been.
‘Yuh,’ Nell says.
I want to hug him in the old way, but there’s new age in him. How does one change that much in a year? Where are his twinkling eyes? Nell met us few years ago at a Church where he played the violin, the guitar. I watch him trying not to shut with fatigue.
“Was up late, Ma.” He always called me Ma. Years ago I didn’t like it, now my heart warms. Ofcourse. This one’s old enough to be a son. There’s much to ask, say. Begin with all the bracelets, ask why he’s bone thin, you could hold every rib through that see -through Marley he’s wearing.
‘Come home, Nell.‘ I manage, feeling a thousand miles away from him. And yet am sensing Jesus standing here, His Heart cutting through all silence.
Nell is about to tell me something, then the moment passes. ‘You not going to pray all over me….‘
Its more a request.
I can’t pray, suddenly I can’t pray. Me who loves this thing called Prayer – my Comfort Zone, my Safe House: telling Abba about everything.
R.Noel.
My face must’ve said things I didn’t know. He is reeking of sweet smelling smoke. I tell him Jesus loves him. I love him, I say. I know, he says. What a cool Ma you be,
No, I shrug, Not that cool.
I know, his eyes grin, (he knew I’d pray the hell out of both of us).
“I’m not perfect but our Father is. He poured all the sin of us into Jesus, and all His Goodness into us, so we can live Eyernally. Nell.’
Right, Nell looks at his feet. We both look at our feet, standing inches away in the market place, in our burning sun.
“You have that Mama, the same thing like when we all first met, ya. Still there.’
What ?
‘This Prayer thing l you do.’ His face shines with brief Hope. A prisoner of Hope. ‘Still sing?’
My response muffles. What can I say. One does these things in pursuit of Meaning, Expression, Freedom from pain, Joy….?
The common misconception people have about Happiness is that humans don’t need God’s brand of freedom from human Pursuit of happiness. We need it, Nell, we need it so bad. God’s kind of Freedom. We grip palms in the bazaar, next to a sack of turmeric and herbs. Bob Marley had so much goodies but little enough on Jesus to not reach out to Him totally. Nell grins at, ‘You don’t change, just go be Mama Ray. Like you like that.’
I want to cry. You can pray and God will hear. He’s like that. He loves Nell. He will pursue us in Love, till there are no chances left. All us billions searching for Heroes.
♡
Leave a comment