Innerdialects

our instincts can be blinded by visibility?

I am the Aftermath* of zillion family types we never saw; the map of them is in me.

We acquire our Environment’s smiles, streets: these we inherit / disinherit, this is what we instinctively fear, or dance with.

We hold what makes us feel less vulnerable. In pursuit of Social Safety we wear our hat how neighbour wears hat. We tut-tut any talk that ‘spirit never dies’ …what? Our spirit will not need Gucci?!

We build towers of Babel, and speak tongues of difference. We color the black & white Truth that stalks our nights & days : that all this will not pass the last sunset. Our mind is cucooned in Pop Intelligence:

Popular Instinct told our daddies that the earth was flat till they dared follow trail and then they knew its a globe spinning in a space we all still cannot decipher enough. Instincts of gravity told them man could not fly, we are not sparrows.

Basic human instinct makes us thieve, molest, dismember Ourself from the secret code that honours each other? Yes/No?

Our fundamental instinct is to bless and not curse: give not take, but we learn how to double lock our front door and not trust strangers. Our dearest Instinct begs us to smile, but we were taken for a ride, for that very quality:

now we fear our core belief that humans are good. We know we will eat each other to survive ‘better’. We hullahoop crimes, in circuses of our mind.

All This we subscribe to, but our most basic instinct is our need for that higher Code crucified fr our evil. We smoke, drink, drug, consume entertainment/ food/forms of human contact & some painkillers ….

to party with a form of a higher sense of goodness. We wish a dream, that we are beloved children of an Invisible Safety Lock. Through the riot we raise against that Longing, we glimpse a glimpse of the Trust that slipped through our fingerprints in this Aftermath* :

what Instinct do I trust:

this Secret stashed even in the shoulder blades of me, that there’s more in there than basic bones. Or curses. Bad DNA, these & Those Tags, or Borders. We are not School science Chapter #1– we are no furry paw and wolverine moonlit darkness: except on Halloween and twilight zones in a hell we play costumes at. Careful when you howl, watch your teeth, know Instincts can grow. And mortals lose birthright for a Love we hate.

It gives our best scientists a cosmic headache: This Reckless Love of God that hears our scream.

I heard It last evening in the eyes of a woman at Nexus Mall. A woman with jaw like an axe edge. He said, “Tell her I love her.”

I shivered.

“Tell her I love her,”

The woman was now glaring at me looking at her.

My Inside tipped: I became that woman in this deadly war for peace that takes our everything.

So I told her and saw hard : how we were sisters of broods of saints, vipers & kings, at how our Dna runs blanks to human perception,

but that we are watched, pursued by Superior Intelligence, towards Whom our core turns, like Chrysalis morphing into What we’ve had within, all along

winging it to the Light: against every stroke that tries to still crucify Him, over and over. This awareness of our own resurrection in Christ, is my most trusted instinct.

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